The rational leader is a myth. Here’s what’s real.

We’ve built boardrooms on the illusion of logic. But the wisest leaders know. Emotion isn’t the enemy of reason. It’s the missing data. Learn to navigate using the cockpit of emotional signals, and you’ll experience a revelation.

Let’s be clear.

Emotional agility isn’t about trying to be unshakably calm, like Yoda.

It’s about staying in contact with what you feel. Without fusing with it.

Image by: Lisa from Pexels.

The thing is this. We like to think of ourselves as rational. Especially in our leadership. Especially when the heat is on.

Many senior leaders I meet have spent decades mastering distance. From reactivity. From conflict. From their own emotions. It’s been rewarded. Promoted. Praised. “She’s so cool under pressure.” “He never lets it get to him.”

But here's the quiet cost of that mask. The more we disconnect from our emotional data, the less available we become to what’s actually true. In us, and around us.

“We don’t lead avoiding our emotions. We lead by them. Whether we like it or not.”

The hidden cost of the rational persona

Rationality, in itself, isn’t the problem. It’s the idealisation of rationality as a tactic, the go to place, that creates an illusion.

Underneath many “rational” decisions, there’s often something unspoken:

·       Fear of being seen as weak

·       Discomfort with ambiguity

·       A need to stay in control, no matter what it costs

You know that moment when everything looks fine on paper, but something in the room feels tense, off? You FEEL it. What you feel is not a lack of data. It’s a lack of contact. And it tends to show up where emotion has been dismissed as irrelevant, or even dangerous.

Emotions themselves are not visible (just their effect), and what we can’t see tends to be swept under the carpet. And when that pile under the carpet has collected enough, we fall. In order to avoid it we need emotional agility.

So what is emotional agility?

Let’s be clear. Emotional agility isn’t about trying to be unshakably calm, like Nelson Mandela. It’s not about suppressing, or even managing, your emotions.

It’s about staying in contact with what you feel. Without fusing with it.

It’s the ability to notice, name and navigate your inner signals, while holding space for the signals of others. That takes more skill than logic alone can offer.

Like cockpit lights on an instrument panel, emotions don’t give you all the answers but they signal what needs attention. Ignore them, and you might still fly. But you’ll miss the turbulence until it hits you in the chest. And something crashes.

Photo by Marina Hinic, Pexels.com

Coherence is the new intelligence. Emotional agility is the effect.

Recent neuroscience points toward something emotional agile leaders have long postulated:
That the body - heart, gut, nervous system - constantly feeds the brain with data at a higher rate than the opposite. And that emotional awareness isn't a side dish. It’s the main course for wise decision-making.

This is coherence:

The alignment between what we know, what we feel, and how we act. Not perfection. Not a balance act. Alignment.

When leaders suppress or avoid their emotional landscape, they create tension in the team, too. Because what’s repressed in one of us, is absorbed by others.

Systems are smart that way. They pick up what’s unspoken, and translate it into hesitation, silence, or disengagement. This is why I introduce Systems Centered Theory, SCT, to my clients. But that’s another story.

Time to lead with more than your rationale

We’ve been taught to lead from the neck up. But most of what drives our behaviour,  and our presence, lives below the head. Try asking yourself what you are actually leading with?

What emotional signals in myself and others am I most likely to not pick up?

When I “stay rational”, what am I protecting?

Where in my leadership do I feel most alive, and what part of me is leading then?

The Invitation

Emotional agility doesn’t make you less rational. It makes you more real.
More available. More grounded.
Because people don’t follow titles. They follow presence. Authenticity.

And authenticity starts with self-contact, not self-control.

You don’t need to talk about your feelings in every meeting. But if you can’t feel your feelings and emotions, you’re missing data. The kind that matters. The kind that gives you the advantage.

And if that idea quietly stirs something in you – maybe this is where your next level begins?

Try experimenting. Next time you feel that familiar signal from your emotional cockpit, try sit with it for a moment, to figure out what this data is actually telling you. You could be up for a revelation.

My name is Mirjam Johansson and I coach leaders and teams to success using Insight Leadership Framework. Please feel welcome to get in touch for a conversation about what you’d like to experience in your own development.